The 3 Biggest Lies

  • 3 Biggest Software Lies
    • The program’s fully tested and bugfree.
    • We’re working on the documentation.
    • Of course we can modify it.
  • 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies
    • As long as you remember to ‘SAVE’ your input, you’ll never lose any files.
    • We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
    • The new machines on order.
  • 3 Biggest Large Company Lies
    • We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
    • People are our greatest resource.
    • We say ‘let the marketplace decide’.
  • 3 Biggest Small Company Lies
    • We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
    • The boss is just one of the guys.
    • Staying small is a conscious decision.
  • 3 Biggest Marketing Lies
    • Immediate delivery?…No problem.
    • We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
    • We’re going out to lunch to talk business.
  • 3 Biggest Engineering Professor’s Lies
    • Some day this course will come in handy.
    • These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.
    • This is the way they do it in industry.
  • 3 Biggest Executive Lies
    • Money…it’s just a score card.
    • If it were up to me, there’d be no assigned parking spaces.
    • You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.
  • 3 Biggest undergraduate student starting Physics Lies
    • There are plenty of jobs out there for Physics graduates.
    • You’ll make lots of money in your proffessional career.
    • The general public respect Physicists.
  • 3 Biggest student teacher lies
    • The school will help and support you all they can.
    • This teaching course is interesting and stimulating.
    • Kids today are just the same as when you went to school.
  • 3 Biggest advertising lies
    • This product will taste as good as it looks.
    • You really need our product.
    • If you use our product you will have sex with the same kinds of people as you see in our ad.
  • 3 Biggest mail order lies
    • Delivery of your product will occur within 30 days of ordering it.
    • If you’re not satisfied with our product we will guarentee a full refund.
    • We offer repair of your product free of charge with an accredited repairer in your home State.
  • 3 Biggest retail industry lies
    • Our staff are courteous and considerate.
    • We try to help you with your problem.
    • You can exchange or get full refund on an item that you’re not satisfied with.
  • 3 Biggest politician lies
    • I’ll be factual and to the point.
    • I’ll give you a straightforward answer to your question.
    • The government doesn’t waste taxpayers money.
  • 3 Biggest parent lies
    • We’re doing this for your own interest.
    • You can have that (do that) later (when you’re older).
    • The family can’t afford it now.
  • 3 Biggest supermodels lies
    • Women normally look like that.
    • Women should look like that.
    • Fasting and dieting is good for your health.
  • 3 Biggest beer ads lies
    • Drinking beer is for macho men only.
    • You’ll meet good lifelong friends drinking beer in a bar.
    • Women think drunken loudmouths are sexy.
  • 3 Biggest life lies
    • ..and they lived happily ever after.
    • Dying is painless.
    • Things have gotten so bad that they couldn’t possibly get worse.