- She’s a goblin!
- I’d like to get a little something in the sack.
- Let me see your bag….OH!-You’re having a great night!
- Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
- She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
- If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
- Show me your JuJuBees and I’ll let you see my Zagnuts.
- Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
- You scared me stiff!
- He’s got Candy spread out on the living room floor.
- The Bride of Frankenstein had big, pointy hair and a small, round ass, not the other way around.
- ‘Cause you should know that wearing a white sheet in Atlanta could only lead to getting your ass whupped, Homeboy.
- Your “Naked Linda Tripp” costume is actually more nauseating than scary.
- Your “Yanni” costume got you beat up on the way to the party — four times.
- Your Dirk Diggler costume is merely embarrassing now that your “Diggler” is stuck in the car door.
- Your beret falls off every time you kneel.
- Yellow Homer Simpson makeup? Check.
Can of Homer Simpson “Duff Beer”? Check.
Homer Simpson pants? DOH!!!!
- No one can tell whether you came as Abe Vigoda or Marge Schott.
- This year’s guest judge, Elizabeth Dole, has apparently never even *heard* of Marilyn Manson.
- Much to your surprise, three other people came dressed as Nikola Tesla, father of alternating current.
- The judges wrongly interpreted your “Liposuction By-product” costume as a “Bowl of Tapioca Pudding” costume.
- The only song you knew to go with the costume was “Mammy,” and the judges at the NAACP party were not impressed.
- *Nobody* likes a farting clown.
- After your roommate insisted on being the front legs, you began to suspect that a burrito dinner wasn’t such a good idea.
- Your “Ally McBeal” barfed in the judge’s trick or treat bag.
- The Nike swoosh — while obscene to some — is just not all that scary emblazoned on a white sheet.
- “Hey! Blue dress with a stain and a cigar! Why didn’t I think of that??”
- Somehow your Snoop Dog costume just didn’t go over that big at the Quayle house.
- Your kindergarten students failed to see the humor in your “Road Kill Barney” costume.
- Unlike thousands of other Monica look-alikes, the semen on your dress is not *really* the President’s semen.
- Although your “Internal Bus Architecture of the Intel Celeron Chip” costume was a big hit with the other engineers at the office, things are different out in the real world.
- You can’t get the zipper on your Bill Clinton costume to stay down.
- Looks like “Viagra Man” will be spending Halloween in jail for indecent exposure.
- Something in her eyes tells you there was an inherent flaw in your plan of dressing up as the hostess’s dead husband in order to get laid.
- Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.
- Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.
- Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.
- Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters.
- Leo plans their costume for months, then won’t go out because someone else had the same idea.
- Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they’re a bookkeeper.
- Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume.
- Scorpio isn’t in it for the candy.
- Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.
- Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take.
- Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.
- Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
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