Human Geography

Geography of a Woman

  • Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
  • Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash.
  • Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
  • Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France, gently aging but still a warm and a desirable place to visit.
  • Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
  • Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.
  • Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.
  • After 70, they become Afghanistan. Most everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

Geography of a Man

  • Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iran – ruled by a dick.

You Need to Study More Geography If You Think…

  • Andes is an after dinner mint
  • The Balkans are an alien people on Star Trek
  • The English Channel is a TV sitcom about Charles and Camilla
  • The United Kingdom is a cultural theme park
  • Butte Montana is Joe’s new girlfriend
  • Reno Nevada is what you get for being Attorney General
  • The Tropic of Cancer is a sunscreen lotion
  • The $10,000 Pyramid is in Egypt
  • The Gaza Strip is a Middle Eastern folk dance
  • The Ring of Fire is the center ring of Barnum and Bailey’s Circus
  • The Bermuda Triangle is a percussion instrument in a reggae band
  • The Cumberland Gap gives out a pair of clogs with every set of jeans
  • The International Dateline is a new cable TV network
  • The Equator is a cartoon action figure
  • The Continental Shelf is a specialty section of the supermarket
  • An archipelago is a food stabilizer
  • The Dust Bowl is Granny’s old favorite dish
  • A fault is what you find in other people
  • A fjord is a Norwegian car
  • A mantle is what goes over your fireplace
  • Tide is a laundry detergent
  • You can do a research paper to find out who killed the Dead Sea