Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”

Forrest responds “It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”

Saint Peter goes on, “Yes I know, Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three questions. First: What days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God’s first name?”

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. The first thing the next morning, Saint Peter returns to the gate to find Forrest already there waiting for him. Peter smiles warmly and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forrest says, “Well, the first one – how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.

The saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest! That’s not what I was thinking, but… you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you credit for that answer.”

“How about the next one: How many seconds in a year?”

“Now that one’s harder” says Forrest, “But I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”

Astounded St. Peter says, “Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”

Forest says “Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second…..”

“Hold it,” Saint Peter interrupts. “I see where you’re going with this, and I guess you’re right. It wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I’ll give you credit for that one, too. Let’s go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name?”

Forrest replied, “Andy.”

“OK, OK,” said a frustrated gatekeeper, “I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you came up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”

“That was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learned it from the song! ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own…'”

Forrest in Everyday Life

  • Forrest Gump
    Life is like a Box of chocolates…
  • Forrest Dahmer
    People are like a box of chocolate, YUM!
  • Forrest Simpson
    Mmmmm, chocolate
  • Forrest the Hun
    Chocolate all mine!
  • Forrest Jackson
    Little kids like my box of chocolates
  • Forrest Hefner
    Keep the chocolate, lose the box.
  • Forrest Simmons
    Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE!
  • Forrest Rivera
    People who like Chocolate..Next on ‘Forrest’
  • Forrest Shakespeare
    Chocolate, or no chocolate that’s the question
  • Forrest Of Borg
    All chocolates must be assimilated
  • Forrest Presley
    Hunk a hunk of milk chocolate
  • Forrest Zen
    I am one with the chocolate
  • Forrest McClaine
    I used to be a box of Chocolates
  • Forrest Ventura
    Chocolates..Alll-Riighty then..
  • Forrest Lauper
    People just wanna have chocolate
  • Forrest Turner
    What’s chocolate gotta do, gotta do with it?
  • Forrest Bones
    Dammit jim, I’m a Dr., not a box of chocolate
  • Forrest Spock
    Logically speaking, we are all chocolate
  • Forrest Scotty
    The box, she’s breaking apart Capt’n
  • Forrest Rooney
    Why is it that we are all chocolates?
  • Forrest Butler
    Frankly Scarlett, I don’t like chocolate
  • Forrest O’Hara
    Tomorrow is another box of chocolates.
  • Forrest Lee
    Fight with your inner chocolate
  • Forrest Clinton
    I didn’t inhale the cream centers
  • Forrest Davidson
    I will inhale the cream filled centers
  • Forrest Doo
    Roinks Raggy, Rocolates!
  • Forrest Pig
    Life is a box of chok-choa-che..candy
  • Forrest Marx
    That’s the weirdest box of chocolates I’ve ever seen….
  • Forrest Nicholson
    You want chocolate, you can’t handle chocolate
  • Forrest Copperfield
    Poof, the chocolates are gone!
  • Forrest X
    We didn’t land in the box of chocolate
    The box of chocolate landed on us!
  • Forrest Hitler
    White Chocolates only!
  • Forrest the Frog
    Someday we’ll find it,
    The chocolate connections
    The plain ones,
    The cream filled….and me..
  • Forrest Eastwood
    I know what your thinking..
    Did he eat five chocolates, or did he eat six
    Well let me ask you…
    Do you feel hungry PUNK?..well…DO YOU?
  • Forrest Barney
    I’m cream filled, your with nuts.
    We’re a box of chocoluts
  • Forrest Ali
    I am the chocolate boxer!
  • Forrest on phonics
    Lief es lyk a boks uv chakolets
  • Forrest PsychicLine
    Yes, I knew you were a chocolate
  • Forrest 900-line
    oooh, can I suck your cream filled chocolates?
  • Forrest DatingGame
    Bachelor number two…
    if I was a piece of chocolate..
    What would you fill me with?
  • Forrest Alimony
    The Box is mine!
  • Forrest Adultry
    You just can’t have just one chocolate.
  • The Forrest plague
    Ewww..these Chocolates are bad
  • Chief Justice Forrest Thomas
    I never touched her milk-duds!
  • Forrest Andrews
    The Hills are a box of chocolates
  • Forrest Allen
    Chocolate, huroof..
  • Forrest Costello
    Who’s eating chocolate?
  • Forrest Abbott
    No, who is not eating chocolate
  • Forrest Vader
    Luke, I am your chocolate
  • Forrest Yoda
    There is a dark chocolate, and a light chocolate..