How NOT to Pass Your Driver’s Test

  • Turn the radio on. When the tester goes to turn it off slap his/her hand.
  • Rev the car really high, turn to the tester, and say with an evil look, “Buckle up!”
  • Knock over every cone while doing maneuverability. In the middle of it, get out and check to see if you have hit every one.
  • Come dressed in a suit. Before the examiner gets in the car, ask him/her to put a piece of plastic wrap down so he doesn’t dirty the seat.
  • When the examiner tells you to stop, step on the gas. Tell him/her that you thought it was the brake.
  • When the examiner tells you to stop, pop the hood clutch and say, “Oops.”
  • Get in the car, look down at the pedals, and say, “Now which one is the gas again?”
  • After the examiner gets in the car, pop the hood, and get out and check the oil.
  • Fill your car with beer bottles.
  • The whole time driving, talk about how Aunt Gertrude smells like mothballs.
  • Tell the registrar that you are taking the remedial test.
  • In the middle of driving, put your arm around the examiner.
  • Swear at everybody on the road.
  • When you stop at a light, start revving the engine while looking back and forth between the person next to you and the light.
  • Beep your horn at everything.
  • Break off your rear-view mirror and then ask the examiner to hold it up.