Coldwater

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, “Grandfather, are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replies, “Those plates are as clean as Coldwater can get them, so go on and finish your meal”.

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, “Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, “I told you those dishes are as clean as Coldwater can get them, now don’t ask me about it anymore”.

Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, grandfather’s dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me out”.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, “Coldwater, get your butt out of the way!”

How Men And Dogs Are Alike

  • Both take up too much space on the bed.
  • Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaners.
  • Both are threatened by their own kind.
  • Both mark their territory.
  • Both are suspicious of the postman.
  • Both are bad at asking you questions.
  • Both pass gas shamelessly.
  • Both like dominance games.
  • Both tend to smell riper with age.
  • Neither of them tells you what’s bothering them.
  • Neither of them does dishes.
  • Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
  • Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
  • Neither understands what you see in cats.
  • The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.