- My karma ran over your dogma.
- Friends don’t let friends drive naked.
- If you don’t like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!
- Caution! Driver’s applying make-up
- CAUTION : Driver Singing
- The kids drive me crazy, I drive them everywhere
- Why am I the only person on earth that knows how to drive?
- FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE…VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL
- If you think I’m a lousy driver, wait until you see me putt
- Hang up and drive
- I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. . . Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
- Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!!
- It was only a lane change!
- I drive this way just to piss you off.
- Go on speeding, we’ll cut you out (of your car) — Your Fire Dept.
- Go on, I’ll see you at the next traffic light.
- Get in. Sit down. Shut up. Hang on.
- Caution I swerve and hit people at random.
- So many pedestrians, so little time.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.
- All generalizations are false.
- All men are idiots, and I married their King.
- Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…
- Born free…Taxed to death.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
- Driver carries no cash. He’s married
- Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
- Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal.
- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Hit me, I need the money!
- Horn broken. Watch for finger.
- How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
- HUG A LOGGER–you’ll never go back to trees
- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
- I brake for no apparent reason.
- I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
- I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
- I love cats…they taste just like chicken..
- i souport publik edekashun.
- I thought about being born again, but my mother refused.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
- If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
- I’m happily married – but my wife isn’t.
- I’m out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- It wasn’t actually a divorce – I was traded.
- Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
- Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- Montana — At least our cows are sane!
- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
- Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
- Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have power surges.
- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
- Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
- SUPPORT BINGO–keep Grandma off the streets
- Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
- Tell me to ‘stuff it’ – I’m a taxidermist.
- The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
- The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
- The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
- Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
- Two wrongs are only the beginning.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
- When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
- Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
- Constipated People Don’t Give A Crap.
- Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
- If You Don’t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
- Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
- If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
- Thank You For Pot Smoking.
- Impotence: Nature’s Way Of Saying “No Hard Feelings”.
- If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
- The Earth Is Full – Go Home
- I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha
- This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me
- Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
- If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
- The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name
- Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
- Illiterate? Write For Help
- Honk If Anything Falls Off
- He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
- Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
- It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
- I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
- If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off (Motorcycle)
- If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You’re Doing It Wrong…
- Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
- If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like JabbaThe Hut?
- Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
- Ax Me About Ebonics
- Boldly Going Nowhere
- Cat: The Other White Meat
- Caution – Driver Legally Blonde!
- Don’t Be Sexist – Broads Hate That
- Heart Attacks… God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
- Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
- How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
- If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
- Saw It… Wanted It… Had A Fit… Got It!
- What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull
- Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
- Support Cannibalism-EAT ME!
- God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
- I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
- I wasn’t born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
- Taxation WITH representation ain’t so fucking hot, either!
- Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
- 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it’s an amusement park.
- EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
- Your child may be an honor student but you’re still an idiot.
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
- Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
- My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her …or something like that.
- Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
- If we are what we eat; I’m cheap, fast, and easy.
- Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
- Horn broken.
- Watch for finger.
- Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
- All generalizations are false.
- Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
- I brake for no apparent reason.
- Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.
- I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
- Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal.
- We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
- I love cats…they taste just like chicken.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
- Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
- Born free…Taxed to death.
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
- Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
- Rehab is for quitters.
- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
- Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
- All men are idiots, and I married their King.
- Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
- Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
- Montana — At least our cows are sane!
- I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
- If you don’t like the news, go out and make some.
- When you do a good deed, get a receipt–in case heaven is like the IRS.
- Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
- No radio – Already stolen.
- Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
- Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have power surges.
- I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
- Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
- OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
- Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
- I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
- Tell me to ‘stuff it’ – I’m a taxidermist.
- IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
- Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
- It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
- According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist.
- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
- Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
- How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
- Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
- Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
- Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
- Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
- Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
- Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
- i souport publik edekashun.
- Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…
- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
- Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?
- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
- Keep honking…I’m reloading.
- Caution: I drive like you do.
error: Content is protected !!