- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
- Dogs look at your eyes.
- Dogs aren’t threatened by a woman with short hair.
- Dogs feel guilt when they’ve done something wrong.
- Dogs don’t feel threatened by your intelligence.
- Dogs understand what “no” means.
- Dogs don’t brag about whom they have slept with.
- Dogs do not play games with you — except fetch and they never laugh at how you throw.
- Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you’re together.
- Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
- Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
- Dogs are nice to your relatives.
- Dogs don’t mind if you do all the driving.
- Dogs don’t step on the imaginary brake.
- Dogs admit it when they’re lost.
- Dogs don’t weigh down your purse with their stuff.
- Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
- Dogs aren’t threatened if you earn more than they do.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
- You are never suspicious of your dog’s dreams.
- You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.
- You can train a dog.
- You can force a dog to take a bath.
- Middle-aged dogs don’t feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
- Gorgeous dogs don’t know they’re gorgeous.
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there’s a vaccine for it. Of course, your dog is vaccinated, so you get to kill the mangy flea-bag that gave it to you.)
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