- This is your penis. This is your penis on drugs. Any questions?
- Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
- Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
- Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight
- Viagra, Home of the whopper
- Viagra, It plumps when you take ’em
- Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman
- Viagra, Tastes great, more filling
- Viagra, Ten inches long … and growing.
- Viagra, We work harder, so you don’t have to.
- “A diamond is forever.”
“Which is *exactly* how long you’ll be hearing about it from the wife if you don’t cough up the green for some ice, pal.”
- “Built Ford tough”
“It’s an American version of tough; not *really* tough, like German cars are tough.”
- “I can’t believe it’s not butter!”
“Being around Fabio, for even a few seconds, makes you dumb as a post.”
- “Pork; the other white meat”
“When Heston starts screaming that it’s people, don’t say we didn’t warn you.”
- “An Army of one”
“Can’t be gay all by yourself, can ya?”
- “A diamond says you’d marry her all over again”
“You’re too classy for a $50 hooker every week.”
- “Have it your way”
“Think of us as your personal hamburger whore.”
- “Just Do It”
“We know you’ll never get off the couch lard-ass; just buy the friggin’ shoes.”
- “The new way to office”
“The half-assed way to slogan.”
- “It’s so chunky, you’ll be tempted to eat it with a fork.”
“Those damn slicing machines are still dumping way too many body parts in our soups!”
- “Must-see TV”
“Yeah, what else are you gonna do, Shakespeare? Read?!”
- “Calgon, take me away!”
“I’ve got my Mr. Showerhead poised for action.”
- “Like a rock”
“God knows we weren’t selling many pickups with that Boy George tune.”
- Charmin: “Butt… Wipe… Err.”
- Microsoft: “How much are you going to pay today?”
- Eggs: “The Incredible Edible Ovum.”
- MTV: “Loud and easy to spell.”
- Saks 5th Avenue: “You Could Shop Here if You’re Poor, But That Would be Stupid!”
- Iguana: “The other green meat.”
- Penis Enlargement Specialists: “It Don’t Mean a Thing If It Ain’t Got That Swing!”
- Nike: “Just buy the damn shoes, you flabby spineless lump!”
- Daisy Air Rifles: “Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years.”
- Canon Photocopiers: “Quit calling them Xeroxes, dammit!”
- Pepto Bismol: “Squash the Squirts!”
- Trojans: “Just add meat.”
- Apple MacIntosh: “Hey, we thought of it first!”
- Radio Shack: “You’ve got questions, we’ve got geek losers!”
- Professional Bowling on NBC: “Oh, why don’t you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?”
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