It’s Halloween. Every year people start resurrecting cat myths to put the scare into little kids and older adults alike. We cats have tolerated this proliferation of ‘myth-information’ for many years and we do not like it. I risk ‘letting the cat out of the bag,’ but I must dispel some illusions.

MYTH: Cats eyes shine at night because they are casting out the light they gather during the day.
FACT: Baloney. How can we gather daylight when our eyes are closed sleeping all day?

MYTH: When a cat’s whiskers droop, rain is coming.
FACT: When a cat’s whiskers droop, rain is here. The whiskers are wet.

MYTH: If you want to keep a cat from straying, put butter on its paws.
FACT: I won’t stray because you won’t be here to open the door. You will be in the hospital as a result of your attempt to butter my paws.

MYTH: If a cat sneezes near a bride on her wedding day she will have a happy marriage.
FACT: 4-in-5 marriages end in divorce. Not a lot of sneezing going on, huh? Maybe they ought to rewrite that one and make it ‘coughs hairballs.’

MYTH: Stepping over a cat brings bad luck.
FACT: Actually, worse luck. It exposes your most vulnerable areas just in case you miss and step on us.

MYTH: Cats suck the breath from babies.
FACT: We don’t ‘suck the breath.’ Cats enjoy baby breath as much as humans. If you had a choice between a baby’s breath and the Big Owner’s breath, which would you choose?

MYTH: Cats always land on their feet.
FACT: So explain the bumps on my head.

MYTH: A cat has nine lives.
FACT: Well, okay, that one is true. I happen to have a can of it sitting right in front of me. Now, if I could only get someone to open it for me.

It was a good day.

This is part of a great collection of great cat stories, told from the cat’s perspective. For more information please visit the website!