Gifts *Not* to Get Anyone for Christmas

  • The gift of a free membership to Weight Watchers
  • The “Monica gift set” including a cigar, beret, and stain remover
  • A ride-on vacuum cleaner — especially when she is expecting her favorite perfume.
  • A free consultation with Dr. Kevorkian
  • A Solar powered flashlight
  • A voucher for a free pap smear
  • A ten dollar gift certificate to McDonalds
  • Membership in Fruitcake of the Month club
  • The same lousy present that they gave you last year that you never opened and didn’t know how to get rid of it.