Your Starship Captain Might Be a Cajun If…

  • All security personnel are required to wear coon skin caps.
  • He keeps referring to the shuttlecraft as a pirouge.
  • There’s an LSU bumper sticker on a warp necelle that says “Geaux Tigers.”
  • His favorite Holodeck program is called “tho’ down at de fais do do.”
  • Every time you dock at a Star Base, he asks to see the “Cock o’ de Walk.”
  • He programs the replicator for Boudin.
  • He calls the phasers “scatter-guns.”
  • He calls photon torpedoes “slugs.”
  • He refers to Klingons as Catfish.
  • His hand phaser is shaped like a Bowie Knife.
  • He loves Klingon food.
  • He refers to Romulan Ale as Stromberry Wine.
  • His ready room has a porch.
  • His Science Officer’s name is Gaston.
  • The Red Alert alarm sounds like an accordian.
  • He refers to the Romulan Web as a “Gill Net.”
  • The main computer password is “show me your tits.”
  • He thinks “Q” is from Arkansas.
  • He signals Red Alert by saying “Sacre!”
  • He has twenty-seven girlfriends throughout the Galaxy, and they’re all named Marie.
  • When he fights a Klingon Warbird, the first thing he does is shine a spotlight in their eyes.