Murphy’s Laws for Parents

  • The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
  • Leakproof thermoses–will.
  • The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
  • The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.
  • The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.
  • Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.
  • The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look. [By definition]
  • Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.
  • Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.
  • Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.