Okay, you’ve heard of Murphy’s famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:
- Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
- Beach’s Law
Identical parts aren’t.
- Anthony’s Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
- Tussman’s Law
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
- Lowery’s Law
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
- Peer’s Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
- William’s Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
- Handy Guide to Modern Science:
If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s Biology.
If it stinks, it’s Chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.
- IBM’s Pollyanna Principle
Machines should work. People should think.
- The Dilbert Principle
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage – management.
- Ehrlich’s Law
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
- Ralph’s Observation
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
- Cannon’s Comment
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
- Cole’s Law
Thinly sliced cabbage.
- The Law of Common Sense
Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist.
- The Law of Reality
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
- The Law of Avoiding Oversell
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
- Law of Physical Displacement
Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant.
- Legal Rights
Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
- Law of Probable Dispersal
Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
- Law Pertaining to Divorce
Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him … get a good lawyer …keep his house.