Unique Laws

Okay, you’ve heard of Murphy’s famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:

  • Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
  • Beach’s Law
    Identical parts aren’t.
  • Anthony’s Law of the Workshop
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
  • Tussman’s Law
    Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
  • Lowery’s Law
    If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
  • Peer’s Law
    The solution to a problem changes the problem.
  • William’s Law
    There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
  • Handy Guide to Modern Science:
    If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s Biology.
    If it stinks, it’s Chemistry.
    If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.
  • IBM’s Pollyanna Principle
    Machines should work. People should think.
  • The Dilbert Principle
    The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage – management.
  • Ehrlich’s Law
    The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
  • Ralph’s Observation
    It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
  • Cannon’s Comment
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
  • Cole’s Law
    Thinly sliced cabbage.
  • The Law of Common Sense
    Never accept a drink from a urologist, nor a friendly handshake from a proctologist.
  • The Law of Reality
    Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
  • The Law of Avoiding Oversell
    When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
  • Law of Physical Displacement
    Sometimes you are the dog. Sometimes you are the hydrant.
  • Legal Rights
    Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
  • Law of Probable Dispersal
    Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
  • Law Pertaining to Divorce
    Be a good housekeeper. When you leave him … get a good lawyer …keep his house.