Some of My Favorite Phrases

  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
  • I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • No, my powers can only be used for good.
  • I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  • I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
  • I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
  • It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
  • You sound reasonable… Time to up the medication.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
  • I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  • Illiterate? Write for Help!