Attention Children!

The Bathroom Door is Closed.

  • Please do not stand here and talk, whine, or ask questions. Wait until I get out.
  • Yes, it is locked. I want it that way. It is not broken, I am not trapped. I know I have left it unlocked, and even open at times, since you were born, because I was afraid some horrible tragedy might occur while I was in here, but it’s been 10 years and I want some PRIVACY.
  • Do not ask me how long I will be. I will come out when I am done.
  • Do not bring the phone to the bathroom door.
  • Do not go running back to the phone yelling, “She’s in the BATHROOM!”
  • Do not begin to fight as soon as I go in.
  • Do not stick your little fingers under the door and wiggle them. This was funny when you were two, but not now.
  • Do not slide pennies, Legos, or notes under the door. Even when you were two this got a little tiresome.
  • If you have followed me down the hall talking, and are still talking as you face this closed door, please turn around, walk away, and wait for me in another room. I will be glad to listen to you when I am done.
  • And yes, I still love you.

(signed)
Mom