Application to Live in Arkansas

Personal Information

  • Name:
  • Nickname:
  • CB Handle:
  • Address (RFD):
  • Daddy (if unknown, list 3 suspects):
  • Neck Shade:
    ( ) Light Red
    ( ) Medium Red
    ( ) Dark Red
    ( ) Other
  • Number of Teeth Exposed in Full Grin:
    Upper
    Lower
  • Make of Pickup:
    Size of Tire:
  • Hounds:
    Type:
    ( ) Blue Tick
    ( ) Beagle
    ( ) Black & Tan
    ( ) Other
  • Length of Right Leg:
    Length of Left Leg:
  • How Many Cars/Makes in Front Yard?:
    How Many on Blocks:
  • How many kitchen appliances on Front Porch:
    on Back Porch:
  • When and where was your last Elvis sighting:
  • Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags?
    ( )Yes ( ) No
  • Do you own any shoes (not boots)?
    ( ) Yes ( ) No
  • Are you married to any of the following (circle all that apply)?
    Sister   Cousin   Cousin’s Sister   Aunt
    Other, explain:
  • Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?
    ( ) Yes ( ) No
  • Can you sign your own name and always spell it right?
    ( ) Yes
    ( ) No
  • Have you EVER had more than one bath in a week?
    ( ) Yes ( ) No

Medical Information

  • Do you have at least two of the following?
      ( ) B.O.
      ( ) Crabs
      ( ) Lice
      ( ) Scabies
      ( ) Bad Breath
      ( ) Fleas
      ( ) Tattoos
      ( ) Crossed Eyes
      ( ) Runny Nose

  • Do you have:
      ( ) Green Teeth
      ( ) Brown Teeth
      ( ) Yellow Teeth
      ( ) Any Teeth
      ( ) # of teeth missing?

General Information

  • Can you count past 10 with your shoes on?
    ( ) Yes ( ) No
  • Past 21 with your shoes off and fly open?
    ( ) Yes ( ) No
  • Favorite Weapon:
    ( ) Tire Iron
    ( ) Pick Handle
    ( ) Shotgun
    ( ) Log Chain
  • Favorite Pasttime:
    ( ) Drinkin’
    ( ) Coon Huntin’
    ( ) Fishin’
    ( ) Other
  • Truck Equipped with:
    ( ) 8-Track
    ( ) Fuzzbuster
    ( ) Gun Rack
    ( ) Roll Bar
    ( ) CB Radio
    ( ) Beer Cans
    ( ) Squirrel Tail
    ( ) Rebel Flag
  • Favorite Vocalist:
    ( ) Willie Nelson
    ( ) Johnny Cash
    ( ) Elvis
    ( ) Conway Twitty
    ( ) Loretta Lynn
  • Cap Emblems:
    ( ) Bud
    ( ) John Deere
    ( ) CAT
    ( ) Skoal
    ( ) Jack Daniels
  • Bumper Stickers:
    ( ) Honk if you love Jesus
    ( ) Old Fart
    ( ) Dig Clams
  • Memberships:
    ( ) NRA
    ( ) VFW
    ( ) KKK
    ( ) 700 Club
    ( ) BPOE

Your Signature (one X will do)
Date: