- Suspicious increase in number of 1-900-DRILLBIT calls charged to your line.
- Uses “The Clapper” to turn power saw on and off.
- Paints the living room with 15,000 bottles of White-Out.
- Shows up with nothing but a strategically placed power drill and a butt crack the size of the Grand Canyon.
- Flaming pentacle and mutilated goats in your basement.
- Comes to work with a Bob Vila lunchbox, complete with crazy straw for the thermos.
- Left hand: sledgehammer. Right hand: Colt 45 Malt Liquor.
- On the day the insulation is to be put down, shows up wearing Pink Panther costume.
- Mike Wallace from “60 Minutes” drops by with camera crew.
- While painting: “One for the wall, one for me, one for the wall,…”
- Keeps asking you to “adjust my tool, if y’know what I mean.”
- His see-through teddy shows that he’s confused Victorian style with Victoria’s Secret.
- Insists on spackling with his genitalia instead of with a trowel.
- Runs out of shingles and starts using baloney slices.
- Insists on trying out the new bedroom… with his entire stable of girlfriends.
- Spends hours in your bathroom, flushing the toilet and saying, “Well I’ll be goldarned!”
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