No beanies or babies harmed in the manufacture of this product.
Warning: This fad will disappear in 6 weeks.
Caution: Care Bears do not actually care very much.
Warning: This toy produces substantially less childish glee in real life than it does in the TV commercial.
Some dismemberment may occur.
Do not purchase this toy at all. Put it back on the shelf! NOW!! Just walk away, timid little man.
Failure to fall immediately to your knees in gratitude and eternally thank parents for shelling out $400 and waiting in line behind a smelly woman from Jersey City for two hours to *get* your Sega Dreamcast — especially when you’ve already got a Playstation and a box full of games that are now headed for the next garage sale — may result in bodily injury.
Do not stare at product. Hey! You’re doing it now! Cut that out!!
In case of breakage, scream until dad buys a replacement.
Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously.
Use as an actual terrorist device not recommended.
Do not attempt to combine your Ultra Mega Warrior with your cat to make Ultra Mega Cat Warrior.
NOTE: The makers of “Queen Amidala’s Naboo Dream Palace” assume no responsibility for the quality of the movie which spawned it.