“Best non-rhyming victim in a drive-by shooting” *still* not a category.
You’re Livin’ La Vida No-Talenta.
Because Kurt Loder cannot be bought, Mister Nose Candy!
VH-1 just completed your “Where are they now?” segment.
Budget cuts forced you to use a white, middle-aged heterosexual male choreographer.
Special effects? You hired an alcoholic cinematographer with the shakes, for that “Blair Witch” look.
Your hit rap song disses women executives in the music industry; Strike One. Your proposed solution: “Slap dem ‘ho’s around a bit”; Strikes two and three
Your double-major studies at Julliard severely cut into your washboard ab building time.
Your band name: Barenaked Fat Guys
Your video features: Barenaked Fat Guys
You confused video award shows and submitted the tape of your cousin Earl stepping on a rake.
The only video of you on TV this month shows you hiding a kilo of heroin in the kosher meal cart of American Airlines flight 393.
Still no category for “Most Wasted Punk Burning Stuff at Woodstock.”