- Some bastard keeps tuning your guitar.
- “Best non-rhyming victim in a drive-by shooting” *still* not a category.
- You’re Livin’ La Vida No-Talenta.
- Because Kurt Loder cannot be bought, Mister Nose Candy!
- VH-1 just completed your “Where are they now?” segment.
- Budget cuts forced you to use a white, middle-aged heterosexual male choreographer.
- Special effects? You hired an alcoholic cinematographer with the shakes, for that “Blair Witch” look.
- Your hit rap song disses women executives in the music industry; Strike One. Your proposed solution: “Slap dem ‘ho’s around a bit”; Strikes two and three
- Your double-major studies at Julliard severely cut into your washboard ab building time.
- Your band name: Barenaked Fat Guys
Your video features: Barenaked Fat Guys
- You confused video award shows and submitted the tape of your cousin Earl stepping on a rake.
- The only video of you on TV this month shows you hiding a kilo of heroin in the kosher meal cart of American Airlines flight 393.
- Still no category for “Most Wasted Punk Burning Stuff at Woodstock.”
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