- A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.
- Your over 25 and still live with your parents or some other relative. If you are 30 or more, well enough said…
- You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.
- Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. (Actually, you just remembered you don’t even own a car like that.)
- You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment.
- Your children’s school calls to surrender.
- The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice.
- Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.
- Your plants do better when you do *not* talk to them.
- All your modeling jobs are for cartoonists.
- Your engagement ring is, upon closer inspection, plastic.
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