You Know Your Life Stinks When…

  • A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.
  • Your over 25 and still live with your parents or some other relative. If you are 30 or more, well enough said…
  • You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife.
  • Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. (Actually, you just remembered you don’t even own a car like that.)
  • You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment.
  • Your children’s school calls to surrender.
  • The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice.
  • Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map.
  • Your plants do better when you do *not* talk to them.
  • All your modeling jobs are for cartoonists.
  • Your engagement ring is, upon closer inspection, plastic.