Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday? Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth.
Lunch – Send your secretary out for six “gutbombers” – those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of Maalox.
Afternoon Snack – Drink the Maalox.
Dinner – Six pack of beer and Kentucky Fried Chicken three-piece Dinner, don’t eat the coleslaw.
Breakfast – Eat the coleslaw
Lunch – Go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
Dinner – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at El Flasho’s.
Breakfast – Jaws couldn’t eat Breakfast after a night at El Flasho’s.
Lunch – Rolaids and a coke.
Dinner – Drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps.
Breakfast – Order out for pizza.
Lunch – Your secretary is out sick, check Monday’s gutbomber sack for leftovers.
Dinner – Go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.
Breakfast – Eggs, sausage, and an English muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate and leave the food. It tastes better and it’s better for you.
Lunch – Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder.
Dinner – Steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. Don’t eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
Breakfast – Sleep through it.
Lunch – Ditto.
Dinner – Steak, Well done, baked potato, and brussels sprouts. Don’t eat the brussels sprouts. Take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
Breakfast – Three Bloody Marys and half a Twinkie.
Lunch – Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz? Don’t eat Lunch.
Dinner – Chicken noodle soup – Call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.