Why Beer is Better than Cucumbers

  • You can’t get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.
  • Beer bottles don’t get sprayed with pesticides
  • Beer bottles don’t shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave them in the fridge for a month.
  • Beer is always in season.
  • Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person you’re looking at, if you drink enough of it 🙂
  • Eating cucumbers to forget doesn’t work.

Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer
  • Cucumbers won’t give you a hangover.
  • Cucumbers have fewer calories.
  • Your wife won’t complain about you sitting around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers.
  • You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.
  • Your wife won’t complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.
  • You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.
  • You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.
  • Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn’t hurt (much).
  • You can eat the whole cucumber, skin ‘n’ all.
  • A cucumber won’t shatter if you drop it on the ground.
  • You can shake up a cucumber, and it won’t explode when you bite it.
  • You don’t have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes.
The cucumbers seem to take it on numbers. So why do I prefer beer?