- You can’t get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.
- Beer bottles don’t get sprayed with pesticides
- Beer bottles don’t shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave them in the fridge for a month.
- Beer is always in season.
- Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person you’re looking at, if you drink enough of it 🙂
- Eating cucumbers to forget doesn’t work.
Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer
- Cucumbers won’t give you a hangover.
- Cucumbers have fewer calories.
- Your wife won’t complain about you sitting around all day watching TV and eating cucumbers.
- You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.
- Your wife won’t complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.
- You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.
- You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.
- Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn’t hurt (much).
- You can eat the whole cucumber, skin ‘n’ all.
- A cucumber won’t shatter if you drop it on the ground.
- You can shake up a cucumber, and it won’t explode when you bite it.
- You don’t have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes.
The cucumbers seem to take it on numbers. So why do I prefer beer?