Medical Dictionary

  • Artery
    The study of paintings
  • Bacteria
    The back door of a cafeteria
  • Barium
    What doctors do when patients die
  • Bowel
    A letter like A, E, I, O, or U
  • Caesarean Section
    A neighborhood in Rome
  • CAT Scan
    Searching for Kitty
  • Cauterize
    Made eye contact with her
  • Colic
    A sheep dog
  • D & C
    Where Washington is
  • Dilate
    To live long
  • Enema
    Not a friend
  • Fester
  • Genital
    Not Jewish
  • G.I. Series
    A soldier’s ball game
  • Hangnail
    A coat hook
  • Impotent
    Distinguished, well known
  • Labor Pain
    Getting hurt at work
  • Medical Staff
    A doctor’s cane
  • Morbid
    A higher offer
  • Nitrates
    Cheaper than day rates
  • Node
    Was aware of
  • Outpatient
    A person who fainted
  • Pap Smear
    A parenthood test
  • Pelvis
    A cousin to Elvis
  • Post-operative
    A letter carrier
  • Recovery Room
    A place to do upholstery
  • Rectum
    Dang near killed ’em
  • Seizure
    A Roman emperor
  • Tablet
    A small table
  • Terminal Illness
    Getting sick at a computer
  • Tumor
    More than one
  • Urine
    Opposite of “You’re out”
  • Varicose
  • Vein