What those advertising terms really mean:

• New
  Different color from previous design.
• All New
  Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
• Exclusive
  Imported product.
• Unmatched
  Almost as good as the competition.
• Foolproof Operation
  No provision for adjustments.
• Advanced Design
  The advertising agency doesn’t understand it.
• It’s Here at Last
  Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
• Field Tested
  Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
• High Accuracy
  Unit on which all parts fit.
• Futuristic No other reason why it looks the way it does.
• Redesigned
  Previous flaws fixed – we hope.
• Direct Sales Only
  Factory had a big argument with distributor.
• Years of Development
  We finally got one to work.
• Breakthrough
  We finally figured out a use for it.
• Maintenance Free
  Impossible to fix.
• Meets All Standards
  Ours, not yours.
• Solid-State
  Heavy as heck.
• High Reliability
  We made it work long enough to ship it.