90’s Definitions

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  • 404
    Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the

    requested document could not be located.

  • Adminisphere
    The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the

    adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to

    solve.

  • Alpha Geek
    The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “Ask Larry, he’s the alpha

    geek around here.”

  • Beepilepsy
    The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode).

    Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-

    sentence.

  • Chips and Salsa
    Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your

    salsa.”

  • Dancing Baloney
    Little animated GIFs and other Web effects that are useless and serve simply to impress clients. “This

    page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help.”

  • Depotphobia
    Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Electronics

    geeks experience SHACKOPHOBIA.

  • Ercussive Maintenance
    The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

  • Flight Risk
    Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department

    soon.

  • Generica
    Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is. “We were so lost in

    generica, I actually forgot what city we were in.”

  • Irritainment
    Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.

    The O.J. trials were a prime example.

  • Oh No Second
    That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.

  • Pebcak
    Tech support shorthand for “Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard.” Techies are a frustrated, often

    arrogant lot. They’ve submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call

    them up with frighteningly stupid questions.

    Another variation on the above is ID10T: “This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.”

  • Percussive Maintenance
    The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

  • Square-Headed Girlfriend
    Another word for a computer. The victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a “computer widow.”

  • Telephone Number Salary
    A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.

  • Uninstalled
    Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: “You

    have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the

    operator for assistance.” See also DECRUITMENT.

  • Vulcan Nerve Pinch
    The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance,

    the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command

    key, the Return key and the Power On key.

  • WOOFYS
    Well Off Older Folks

  • Yuppie Food Stamps
    The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a

    meal: “We all owe $8 each, but all anybody’s got is yuppie food stamps.”