Recent Personal Ads

  • SWM – Single White Male – looking for SWF – Object — walks, good conversation,
    cultural outings and wearing each others’ behinds as hats. Please, no kooks. Box 7464.
  • You, at the cafeteria dessert bar slipping a couple creme caramels into your brassiere; me, at the buffet table, nonchalantly tossing a few croutons in the air and catching them in my mouth just to get your attention, followed by grapes, Swedish meatballs, and a leg of lamb. When I came to, you were gone. Call me. I think there was something special there. Box 9867.
  • Drop Dead Gorgeous redhead, Christy, wants to meet man with large wallet. Object — him dropping dead. Sincere. Box 4942. Ask for Hank.
  • SWMSTOSOG – Single White Male Siamese Twins, One Straight One Gay desperately seeking SWFSTOSOWTUGR – Single White Female Siamese Twins, One Straight One Willing To Undergo Gender Reallocation. Straight one must be on my right, her left — or willing to stand on head. Must be Baptist. Box 3755.
  • SWMWH – Single White Male With Hump – also huge hairy warts, mismatched legs, crab-like walk, oozing sores and speech impimbimimnt, Republican, looking for SWS – Single White Supermodel – must be staunch NRA supporter. Object — just maybe parent future president of U.S. of A. Leave partics along with recent photo at foot of bell tower. No freaks.