The Male Stages of Life

  • Drink17 ~ beer
    25 ~ beer
    35 ~ vodka
    48 ~ double vodka
    66 ~ Maalox
  • Seduction Line
    17 ~ My parents are away for the weekend.
    25 ~ My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
    35 ~ My fiancee is away for the weekend.
    48 ~ My wife is away for the weekend.
    66 ~ My second wife is dead.
  • Favorite Sport
    17 ~ sex
    25 ~ sex
    35 ~ sex
    48 ~ sex
    66 ~ napping
  • Definition of a Successful Date
    17 ~ “tongue”
    25 ~ “breakfast”
    35 ~ “She didn’t set back my therapy.”
    48 ~ “I didn’t have to meet her kids.”
    66 ~ “Got home alive.”
  • Favorite Fantasy
    17 ~ getting to third
    25 ~ airplane sex
    35 ~ menage a trois
    48 ~ taking the company public
    66 ~ Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
  • House Pet
    17 ~ roaches
    25 ~ stoned-out college roommate
    35 ~ Irish setter
    48 ~ children from his first marriage
    66 ~ Barbi
  • What’s The Ideal Age to get Married
    17 ~ 25
    25 ~ 35
    35 ~ 48
    48 ~ 66
    66 ~ 17
  • Ideal Date
    17 ~ Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
    25 ~ “Split the check before we go back to my place”
    35 ~ “Just come over.”
    48 ~ “Just come over and cook.”
    66 ~ sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.