I’m Not Saying She’s Easy, But…

  • She’s been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.
  • She’s been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.
  • She’s done more screwing than Black and Decker.
  • She’s responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.
  • She’s turned more tricks than Harry Houdini.
  • She’s been boarded more times than Amtrak.
  • She’s been mounted more often than Trigger.
  • She’s been involved with more animals than Marlin Perkins.
  • She’s entertained more troops than Bob Hope.
  • She’s been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare.
  • She’s been turned more ways than Rubik’s Cube.
  • She’s spent more time under men than barstools.
  • She’s seen more traffic than the George Washington Bridge.
  • She’s had more turnovers than the International House of Pancakes.
  • She’s been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.
  • She’s had more marines land on her than on Iwo Jima.
  • Her body has been declared a national recreation area.
  • Her diaphragms come with a service contract.
  • She uses industrial strength douche.
  • Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.
  • Her pantyhose has a pet door.