She’s always busy when you need her.
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but none can live without her.
Only Bill Gates has the will to use her more than half an hour.
They say she can do a lot of things, but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
She always has a surprise reserved for you, but no one in the world is able to fully understand her.
Everyone has had her at least once, but no one wants her anymore.
You have always believed that she has everything you need, but when “X-hour” comes, you find out that she has missed something.
Also known as “wife”; when you are not expecting her to, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, but if you don’t try to uninstall her you will lose everything.
You know that she is good and that she only wants to help you, but you never know what she is really doing that for.
She is not worth anything, but at least she’s fun!
She forgets everything you say when you disconnect her.
She remembers everything…. FOREVER.
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
She wants to have domination over all the men she meets, and she tries to convince them that this is the best thing for them. She will do the best she can to make you fight against other women, and she promises you that you will have everything you want if you will give her your address book. Before you figure it out, she will be the only one in your life… it will even come to the day when you will need her permission to open your refrigerator or start your car.
You think you’re the only one who knows her, but in reality all the world does….
Everybody wants to take her…
She fucks up everything she does, and she always asks for more than she needs.
From outside, she looks like she has everything, but on the inside she is empty…
She makes life look better and brighter.
She’s always going faster and faster.
She keeps you informed of everything, except what you really want to know.
Out of every ten things she says, eight are bullshit.