Tag Archives: Titanic

Clinton Compared to the Titanic

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You remember the story about Lincoln and Kennedy and all the coincidences of their lives? Well, let’s compare Clinton with the Titanic:

  • TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
    CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
    CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
    CLlNTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Let’s not go there.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Monica’s forced to return her gifts.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton’s approval rating is at 70%.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Monica… uh, never mind.

  • TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
    CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary.

Reasons Why the Titanic Was a Poor Choice For a Honeymoon

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  • Too much noise in the hallways to whisper sweet nothings to your TurtleDove.
  • Just as you reach the peak of sexual passion, your Snookums rolls out of bed.
  • Cold water on the stateroom floor takes the fun out of anything kinky.
  • The sirens and whistles make it hard to concentrate onlove-making.
  • Moaning and screaming all around you makes you feel sexually inadequate.
  • You paid for a stateroom on a lower deck, but the lifeboats are hanging just outside your cabin window.
  • No one will lend you a life preserver – the one thing you need to win the scavenger hunt!
  • You dressed for dinner, but your shipmates come to the dining room wearing pajamas and nighties.
  • It’s time for your mambo lesson, but the band won’t stop playing “Rock of Ages”.
  • You need ice for drinks – your steward sends you up to the top deck with an ice pick.