Reasons Why the Titanic Was a Poor Choice For a Honeymoon

  • Too much noise in the hallways to whisper sweet nothings to your TurtleDove.
  • Just as you reach the peak of sexual passion, your Snookums rolls out of bed.
  • Cold water on the stateroom floor takes the fun out of anything kinky.
  • The sirens and whistles make it hard to concentrate onlove-making.
  • Moaning and screaming all around you makes you feel sexually inadequate.
  • You paid for a stateroom on a lower deck, but the lifeboats are hanging just outside your cabin window.
  • No one will lend you a life preserver – the one thing you need to win the scavenger hunt!
  • You dressed for dinner, but your shipmates come to the dining room wearing pajamas and nighties.
  • It’s time for your mambo lesson, but the band won’t stop playing “Rock of Ages”.
  • You need ice for drinks – your steward sends you up to the top deck with an ice pick.