Mike McGovern, a writer, objected to having a destructive hurricane named after his sweet niece, Emily. So in next day’s NY Times, he submitted the following list of more appropriate hurricane names and how these storms might behave:

• Hurricane Clinton – Moves right, then left again

• Hurricane Powell – Heads directly for the White House
• Hurricane Bush – Completely misses Middle America
• Hurricane Perot – Small but annoying
• Hurricane Dole – Eliminates roads, bridges and schools; spares only Kansas
• Hurricane Madonna – Leaves clothes strewn everywhere
• Hurricane Oprah – Gets smaller, then bigger again
• Hurricane Wallace – Hard-hitting but lasts only 60 minutes
• Hurricane Heidi – Blows the lid off Hollywood studios
• Hurricane Jordan – Stops abruptly at its peak
• Hurricane Dykstra – Devastates Atlanta and Toronto
• Hurricane Foreman – Devours everything in sight
• Hurricane Steinbrenner – Threatens to move towards New Jersey
• Hurricane Trump – Uproots giant maples
• Hurricane Obama – Never leaves the golf course