Mike McGovern, a writer, objected to having a destructive hurricane named after his sweet niece, Emily. So in next day’s NY Times, he submitted the following list of more appropriate hurricane names and how these storms might behave:

  • Hurricane Clinton – Moves right, then left again

  • Hurricane Powell – Heads directly for the White House
  • Hurricane Bush – Completely misses Middle America
  • Hurricane Perot – Small but annoying
  • Hurricane Dole – Eliminates roads, bridges and schools; spares only Kansas
  • Hurricane Madonna – Leaves clothes strewn everywhere
  • Hurricane Oprah – Gets smaller, then bigger again
  • Hurricane Wallace – Hard-hitting but lasts only 60 minutes
  • Hurricane Heidi – Blows the lid off Hollywood studios
  • Hurricane Jordan – Stops abruptly at its peak
  • Hurricane Dykstra – Devastates Atlanta and Toronto
  • Hurricane Foreman – Devours everything in sight
  • Hurricane Steinbrenner – Threatens to move towards New Jersey
  • Hurricane Trump – Uproots giant maples
  • Hurricane Obama – Never leaves the golf course