Worst Fortune Cookie Fortunes

  • “What, 3 servings of Moo Shoo Pork weren’t enough for you, tubby?”
  • “Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops.”
  • “Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt.”
  • “Today’s dog in alley is tomorrow’s moo goo gai pan.”
  • “Patron who mocks waiter’s accent will unwittingly consume chef’s bodily fluids.”
  • “Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application.”
  • “Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck.”
  • “Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup.”