Tag Archives: Massachusetts

Application for Permission to Live in Massachusetts

Posted on by

    Name: _____________________________________________________________________
    (extra space left due to new social awareness)

  1. Ethnic Information: (voluntary)
    ____ Eskimo
    ____ American Indian
    ____ Hispanic
    ____ Asian
    ____ African-American
    ____ American-African
    ____ Black-American
    ____ Other Group With A Long History Of Oppression By White Males
    (specify, so we can help you form a political action group)
    ___________________________________________________

  2. Type of Cars Owned (pick two):
    ____ SAAB
    ____ Volvo
    ____ BMW
    ____ Mercedes
    ____ Honda

  3. You don’t own any *American* cars, do you?
    ____ NO

  4. Car Equipment:
    ____ Blaupunkt
    ____ Passport
    ____ Escort
    ____ Vuarnet Sunglasses
    ____ Stash
    ____ CD
    ____ GPS
    ____ Cellular Phone
    ____ Ski Rack
    ____ Bicycle Rack
    ____ Wine Rack

  5. Bumper Stickers:
    ____ “You can’t hug a child with nuclear arms”
    ____ “Greenpeace”
    ____ “Obama/Biden”
    ____ “Save the Whales”
    ____ “Farms not Arms”

  6. Sexual Orientation:
    ____ Gay
    ____ Lesbian
    ____ Other

    (note: failure to give the proper answer to the above means you can’t live in certain towns on the Cape, or get elected to Congress)

  7. Favorite Cause:
    ____ Whales
    ____ Baby Seals
    ____ Snail Darter
    Total given to these causes in the last 12 months: ________________

  8. Favorite Drugs:
    ____ Crack
    ____ Coke
    ____ Grass
    ____ Kitty’s Diet Plan

  9. Which of the Following Should be Banned? (check all that apply)
    ____ The Bomb
    ____ Handguns
    ____ All guns
    ____ Nuclear Power
    ____ Cigarettes
    ____ The NRA
    ____ Republicans

  10. Which of the Following Should be Legalized?: (check all that apply)
    ____ Crack
    ____ Coke
    ____ Grass
    ____ Needles
    ____ Flag Burning

  11. Favorite Beer:
    ____ Samuel Adams
    ____ Beck’s
    ____ Corona (w/lime)
    ____ Latest trendy brand

  12. Favorite Politician:
    ____ Ted Kennedy
    ____ John Kennedy
    ____ Bobby Kennedy
    ____ Joe Kennedy

  13. Club Memberships:
    ____ ACLU
    ____ Greenpeace
    ____ SDS
    ____ N.O.W.
    ____ A.F.S.C.M.E.
    ____ Billy Bulger Breakfast Club
    ____ Provincetown Boys Club
    ____ Bull-Dykes Kennel Club

  14. Even though we can’t ever get any more power from Hydro-Quebec, don’t you
    think that Seabrook should remain closed forever?
    ____ YES

  15. Don’t you think that the people in the Midwest should stop dropping acid rain on our vacation homes in Vermont, even if it means that they all lose their jobs?
    ____ YES

  16. How many watts (per channel, RMS) is your principal home stereo?
    ____ 100W
    ____ 200W
    ____ More than that

  17. How many air conditioners do you have to help you through our long New England summers?:
    ____ 2
    ____ 3
    ____ 4
    ____ Central Air

    (note: Fewer than two A/C units may qualify you for state subsidies if you are a non-white unemployed Democrat)

  18. Favorite TV Show:
    ____ Once and Again
    ____ Providence