- The wind is faster than your truck.
- Every other vehicle is a 4×4.
- When the sun goes down you start looking for your coat.
- In March your vehicle is 43% mud.
- You leave your keys in the car and the next morning it’s still there.
- You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.
- You hear the words “stream” or “brook” pronounced “crick.”
- The elevation exceeds the population.
- You’ve broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you.
- You can see the stars at night.
- People drive 200 miles to shop in a real mall.
- Your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.
- You got a set of snow tires for Valentines Day.
- The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.
- Your back yard smells like sagebrush or various animals.
- A girls’ basketball game fills the gym.
- You slept through the night unawakened by a siren.
- A rodeo is more popular than a rock concert.
- You can fish, golf, and go skiing all in the same day if you try hard enough.
- Yellow light means “follow the car in front of you no matter what.”
- Democrats are like salmon, they are on the endangered species list.
- You wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.
- You talk about a combine and people don’t wonder what you are putting together.
- In the spring every tenth car you pass is a tractor.
- When the car in front of you is weaving you suspect a farmer instead of a drunk.
- Maps and gloves are kept in your vehicle’s “jocky box.”
- You can choose plastic bags or paper sacks for your groceries.
- You have to wait for a flock of sheep to pass you on the road.
- You know why people pay money to watch “pig wrestling.”
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Idaho friends.
- During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
- You are related to more than half the town.
- You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
- Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.
- Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
- You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
- You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
- There’s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
- You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop.
- You’re on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
- When little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
- You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
- All your radio-preset buttons are country.
- You try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town.
- Using the elevator involves a grain truck.
- Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.
- You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
- You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.
- Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
- You know cow pies aren’t made of beef.
- You wake up when it’s dark and go to bed when it’s still light.
- You listen to “Paul Harvey” every day at noon.
- You can tell it’s a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
- Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
- You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
- You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
- You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
- You wear your boots to church.
- It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it’s clear across town.
- You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart.
- The meaning of true love is that you’ll ride in the tractor with him.
- You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping.
- Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
- You defend the beauty of being able to see the next town which is 20 miles away.
- Signal only when you feel like it.
- If you feel you must use your turn signals, make sure they blink only once, then turn them off.
- Signal only after you change lanes.
- When driving straight, make sure that at least one turn signal is blinking at all times.
- Signal as you approach a curve in the road.
- If you intend to make a right turn, use the left signal.
- If you intend to make a left turn, use the right signal.
- When approaching an intersection, signal to turn and slow down. When other drivers or pedestrians cross in front of you, turn off the signal and go straight.
- When you intend to make a turn, start signaling approximately 6-8 blocks before your turn. Slow down for each block as you approach them.
- Always apply your brakes way before you signal.
- When making a left turn at a busy red light, wait for the light to turn green before you turn on your signal.
- Wait until after you have started to turn or change lanes to use your signals.
- If you must use hand signals instead of your turn signals, use your right hand or have your passenger do it out the right side window.
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