Henpecked Husbands

  • He wears the pants in the house – under his apron.
  • He has two chances of winning an argument with her, slim and none.
  • She leads a double life – hers and his.
  • He comes right out and says what she tells him to think.
  • She does not have to raise the roof; all she has to do is raise an eyebrow.
  • He always has the last word – he says, “I apologize.”
  • He was a man about town, she has turned him into a mouse around the house.
  • The last big decision she let him make was whether to wash or to dry.
  • He put a ring on her finger and she put one through his nose.
  • He was a dude before marriage – now he is subdued.
  • He married her for her looks, but not the kind he’s getting now.
  • She lost her thumb in an accident and sued for $100,000, because it was the thumb she had him under.
  • She even complains about the noise he makes, when he is fixing his own breakfast.
  • He goes to a woman dentist – it’s a relief to be told to open his mouth instead of to shut it.
  • Every once in awhile she comes to him on her bent knees. She dares him to come out from under the bed.