This is a list of the ways that professors at Arizona State University grade their final exams:
- Department of Statistics
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
- Department of Psychology
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
- Department of History
All students get the same grade they got last year.
- Department of Religion
Grade is determined by God.
- Department of Philosophy
What is a grade?
- English Department
Your final exam will be scored by totaling the weight of all the books you read this semester:
- 40+ pounds – A
30 pounds – B
20 pounds – C
10 pounds – D
<10 pounds – F
- Law School
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
- Department of Mathematics
Grades are variable.
- Department of Physics
Grades are relative. but…
All theoretical physics is really mathematics. See Above.
- Department of Chemistry
All theoretical chemistry is really physics. See Above.
- Department of Biology
All theoretical biology is really chemistry. See Above.
- Department of Logic
If and only if
the student is present for the final
the student has accumulated a passing grade
the student will receive an A
the student will not receive an A.
- Department of Marxist Studies:
The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles. Therefore, everyone will now get the same grade!
- Department of Economics:
All of your grades, as a collection, will reach the level where your marginal product (MP) of labor for each individual grade is equal.
- Department of Operations & Logistics Management
Grades will be posted *at* 12:00 Noon. NOT 11:59 — NOT 12:01
- Department of Computer Science
Random number generator determines grade, but… YOUR grade is an object in a class of its own.
- Music Department
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and – would be sharp and flat respectively).