Are You as Good As Your Dog?

    If…

  • If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills
  • If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains.
  • If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles
  • If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it
  • If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time
  • If you can overlook when people take things out on you, when through no fault of your own, something goes wrong
  • If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
  • If you can face the world without lies and deceit
  • If you can conquer tension without medical help
  • If you can relax without liquor
  • If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

…Then, you are almost as good as your dog.

Airedale Terrier Rescue and Adoption Newsletter, March 1998

Good Girls, Bad Girls

  • Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
    Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons
  • Good girls wax their floors
    Bad girls wax their bikini line
  • Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
    Bad girls know they could do it better
  • Good girls wear white cotton panties
    Bad girls don’t wear any
  • Good girls think they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
    Bad girls think they’re fully dressed with just a strand of pearls
  • Good girls pack their toothbrush
    Bad girls pack their diaphragms
  • Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
    Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it
  • Good girls wear high heels to work
    Bad girls wear high heels to bed
  • Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
    Bad girls think no place is the wrong place
  • Good girls prefer the missionary position
    Bad girls do to, but only for starters
  • Good girls say no
    Bad girls say when?
  • Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed.
    Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home.