- My family coat of arms ties at the back … is that normal?
- My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated.
- My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!
- Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
- My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets.
- How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?!
- I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap …
- I’m not stuck, I’m ancestrally challenged.
- I’m searching for myself; Have you seen me?
- If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help …
- Isn’t genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more!
- It’s 2000 … Do you know where your G-G-Grandparents are?
- A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.
- A family tree can wither if nobody tends it’s roots.
- A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.
- After 30 days unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.
- Am I the only person up my tree … sure seems like it.
- Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts, and a few bad apples.
- Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?
- FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.
- Gene-Allergy: It’s a contagious disease but I love it.
- Genealogists are time unravelers.
- Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide … I seek!
- Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.
- “Crazy” is a relative term in my family.
- A pack rat is hard to live with but makes a fine ancestor.
- I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.
- I Should have asked them BEFORE they died!
- I think my ancestors had several “Bad heir” days.
- I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower.
- Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards, as progress.
- Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality.
- Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
- It’s an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or a thief.
- Many a family tree needs pruning.
- Shh! Be very, very quiet … I’m hunting forebears.
- Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
- That’s strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!
- I’m not sick, I’ve just got fading genes.
- Genealogists live in the past lane.
- Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots!
- Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree
- Alright! Everybody out of the gene pool!
- Always willing to share my ignorance …
- Documentation …The hardest part of genealogy.
- Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
- Genealogy … will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?
- That’s the problem with the gene pool: NO Lifeguards
- I researched my family tree … and apparently I don’t exist!
- You are the only person to show up at the cemetery research party with a shovel.
- To put the “final touches” on your genealogical research, you’ve asked all of your closest relatives to provide DNA samples.
- You were instrumental in having “non-genealogical use of the genealogy room copy machine” classified as a federal hate crime.
- Your house leans slightly toward the side where your genealogical records are stored.
- You decided to take a two-week break from genealogy, and the U.S. Postal Office immediately laid off 1,500 employees.
- Out of respect for your best friend’s unquestioned reputation for honesty and integrity, you are willing to turn off that noisy surveillance camera while she reviews your 57 genealogical research notebooks in your home. The armed security guard, however, will remain.
- You plod merrily along “refining” your recently published family history, blissfully unaware that the number of errata pages now far exceeds the number of pages in your original publication.
- During an ice storm and power outage, you ignore the pleas of your shivering spouse and place your last quilt around that 1886 photograph of dear Uncle George.
- The most recent document in your “Missing Ancestors” file is a 36-page contract between you and Johnson Billboard Advertising Company.
- Ed McMahon, several TV cameras and an envelope from Publishers Clearing House arrive at your front door on Super Bowl Sunday, and the first thing you say is, “Are you related to the McMahons of Ohio?”
- “A Loving Family” and “Financial Security” have moved up to second and third, respectively, on your list of life’s goals, but still lag far behind “Owning My Own Microfilm Reader.”
- A magical genie appears and agrees to grant your any one wish, and you ask that the 1890 census be restored.
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