A personal guide to what men should say when caught looking at another woman by your wife/girlfriend.
- I can’t believe that outfit she is wearing. (Said disdainfully)
- Look at that guy… over there… behind the woman.
- I think that’s a man dressed as a woman. (Incredulous)
- Isn’t that the actress from the movie Delicatessen? (Chances are she hasn’t seen that movie- and neither have you, but you will get brownie points naming a foreign film, and it will be just obtuse enough to distract her.
- I think that’s the girl I knew from high school who eventually joined a convent (or was committed to an asylum) and turned out to be a real nut case
- Help me, I got something in my eye… can’t see a thing!
- I was staring off into space because I was about to have an epiphany about the direction of my life and the nature of my love for you, but its gone now, thank you very much!
- Hey that’s the loser I dumped in order to go out with you. Boy am I glad I ever got away from her. What a moron.
- I know you’re probably thinking I was staring at a beautiful woman, but to me she is like one of those fancy bakery cakes that looks good, but then you have a bite and it is so sweet that it makes you sick. She makes me sick. (It helps if you convulse a little at the end here.. maybe it will camouflage your drool).
- I was just thinking how I felt sorry for her – since she can never hold a candle to you (this one might only get you punched, but its worth a try).
- Do you think she’s prettier than me? (Give her a taste of her own medicine)