- Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case…
- Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.
- Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen.
- Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen.
- Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.
- Chemist: I hope this shit doesn’t blow up.
- Biologist: Is this shit alive?
- Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don’t really understand this shit.
- Bureaucrat: I’m sorry, but we make this shit happen until you fill out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828…
- CEO: (1980’s) I’ve got all the shit I want.
(1990’s) Oh, SHIT!
- Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.
- Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.
- Surgeon: Shit, where’s this organ supposed to go?
- Psychologist: Shit is in your mind. Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing its subconscious shittiness.
- Programmer: It’s shit, but at least it compiles.
- Social Scientist: Let’s pretend that shit doesn’t happen…
- Politician: It’s shit, but it’ll get me elected. If you elect me, shit will never again happen. Shit happening is bad for the economy.
- Waitress: You want fries with that shit?
- Musician: This shit is out of tune.
- Dean: Let’s see how much shit the faculty’ll take.
- Accountant: Why doesn’t this shit add up?
- Linguist: What I’m doing is a bunch of feces tauri.
- Quality Control Inspector: This shit ain’t good enough.
- IRS Auditor: I’ll make ’em squirm for putting this shit on their tax forms.
- Farmer: I get subsidies for my shit.
- Union leader: Give us more shit or we’ll strike.
- Mafia boss: Rub the little shits out.
- NYC Cab Driver: Damn, looks like I hit that shit…
- Telecom Tech: This shit is going the wrong way! You have to route it this way…
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