Mathematician: Shit happening is just a special case…
Statistician: There is an 83.7% chance that shit will happen. Maybe.
Physicist (Theoretical): Shit SHOULD happen.
Physicist (Experimental): To within experimental error, shit DID happen.
Engineer: I hope this shit holds together.
Chemist: I hope this shit doesn’t blow up.
Biologist: Is this shit alive?
Economist: I hope no one figures out that I don’t really understand this shit.
Bureaucrat: I’m sorry, but we make this shit happen until you fill out form XJ-314159 to make an appointment with our Assistant Sub-Deputy Manager to obtain form ZN-271828…
CEO: (1980’s) I’ve got all the shit I want.
(1990’s) Oh, SHIT!
Lawyer: For a sufficient fee, I can get you out of ANY shit.
Doctor: Take two shits and call me in the morning.
Surgeon: Shit, where’s this organ supposed to go?
Psychologist: Shit is in your mind. Everything that happens is shit; some of it is just repressing its subconscious shittiness.
Programmer: It’s shit, but at least it compiles.
Social Scientist: Let’s pretend that shit doesn’t happen…
Politician: It’s shit, but it’ll get me elected. If you elect me, shit will never again happen. Shit happening is bad for the economy.
Waitress: You want fries with that shit?
Musician: This shit is out of tune.
Dean: Let’s see how much shit the faculty’ll take.
Accountant: Why doesn’t this shit add up?
Linguist: What I’m doing is a bunch of feces tauri.
Quality Control Inspector: This shit ain’t good enough.
IRS Auditor: I’ll make ’em squirm for putting this shit on their tax forms.
Farmer: I get subsidies for my shit.
Union leader: Give us more shit or we’ll strike.
Mafia boss: Rub the little shits out.
NYC Cab Driver: Damn, looks like I hit that shit…
Telecom Tech: This shit is going the wrong way! You have to route it this way…