- If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
- The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
- Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.
- Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings — they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
- A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
- If at first you don’t succeed–try management.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
- Never quit until you have another job.
- Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!
- Go the extra mile — It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
- Pride, commitment, teamwork–words we use to get you to work for free.
- Work: It isn’t just for sleeping anymore.
- There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don’t work here anymore.
- Being told to “Think Outside the Box” when I’m in the @#$%? box all day!
- Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.
- Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.
- That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.
- Lack of roof rafters for the noose.
- My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.
- Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip without comment.
- Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you loosen your pants to tuck in your shirt.
- 23 power cords, 1 outlet.
- Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.
- When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.
- Can’t slam the door when you quit and walk out.
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