Browser Blues

(Sung to Janis Joplin’s “Mercedes Benz”)

Oh Lord won’t you find me a browser that works
I’m tired of all this trashware, I’m tired of all these jerks
Worked hard all my life, Lord, no time for these quirks
So Lord won’t you find me a browser that works

Oh Lord, bought a puter that came with IE,
Small drive though, want FireFox, less bloated ya see.
Went through the install, defaults to IE,
Oh Lord, bought a puter that came with IE.

Oh Lord, I called Redmond, for help with the mess,
Must have been lots others, least-wise I guess.
Heard “All circuits are busy”, and then just a hiss,
Oh Lord, I called Redmond, for help with the mess.

Oh Lord, I was desperate, turned to Ing,
With question in hand, just another postee.
Found answers, trashed Windows 8, and tried BSD.
Oh Lord, I love them, they fixed it for me.

The Twelve Bugs of Christmas

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
See if they can do it again.

For the second bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the third bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me:
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger

For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me:
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me:
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me :
Say it’s not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager
said to me:
Tell them it’s a feature
Say it’s not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.