Astrological Prayers

  • Aries
    Dear God, please give me patience… and could you do it right now?
  • Taurus
    Dear God, help me accept change, but not too quick.
  • Gemini
    Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
  • Cancer
    Dear God!!!
  • Leo
    Yes?
  • Virgo
    Dear God, please make us perfect and don’t mess it up like You did the last time.
  • Libra
    Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
  • Scorpio
    Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the b*****ds don’t deserve it!
  • Sagittarius
    Dear Lord, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
  • Capricorn
    Dear God! I’d like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
  • Aquarius
    Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
  • Pisces
    Dear Lord, as long as I’m going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.