- “Survivor Virus”
Deletes your files one by one over 13 weeks until only the most annoying one remains.
- Elian Virus
You can’t decide what to do with it, until finally the Janet Reno Virus kicks in your door and deletes it.
- Microsoft Virus
Renders your computer virtually useless. Also known by the name “Windows 2000.”
- Tiger Woods Virus
Beats the holy crap out of you in every computer game you play.
- Wonderbra Virus
Results in overflow stack.
- O.J. Virus
Every time you try to search for a file, it runs “Pro Golf Tour 2015” instead.
- Britney Spears Virus
Your partitions mysteriously quadruple in size overnight.
- John Rocker Virus
Re-categorizes everything on your computer into a few simple folders that it can understand.
- Boulder Police Virus
Can’t even *find* your computer.
- Obama Virus
Develops highly time-consuming ways to spend every cent possible to achieve nothing. Leaves you bankrupt for generations.
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