You Know You’re Hooked When…

  • Your wife wants a diamond for her birthday, and you get her a Diamond Stealth Video Card.
  • You’re in bed, making it, and it reminds you of how it must feel to be a floppy disk going into your new drive.
  • You know what PPP, SLIP, HTML and FTP mean…but damned if you can remember your wife’s maiden name or your wedding anniversary. Don’t even talk about the kids’ names!
  • You sit in front of the TV…trying to type at a keyboard.
  • You “right click”….on your wife’s nipples.
  • The “cute name” for your member has changed to “Joystick”….and you hold it the same way.
  • You find out that Hemorrhoids aren’t THAT painful, as long as you’re on the ‘Net.
  • When someone yells out “What’s for supper?” you do a search for SUPPER.COM.
  • Whenever your wife mentions “protection”, you remind yourself that you gotta get a keyboard protector.
  • You suspect there’s a virus in your mashed potatoes.